MY HIDDEN TRUTH

I've forcefully restain from my sexual desire since four years as because my wife is totally disinterested to indulge sex with me. She is quite ignorant and frigid for sexual desire. Actually, she is scared to became pregnant after giving birth of a scissorion baby son and a successful one time abortion. As a married man, I've to live with my wife as brother-sister, unwillingly. Presently, she is reluctant to any oral sex also. She is hesitant to sex because of my grown up son and not shows any positive interest towards human's hidden truth. My life became tedious and miserable due to lack of sex. As because, I'm very sexy to to continue my life energy like a young. It's became nightmare to me and I'm not slept well without sex. So, I'm dreaming some other lady to having sex with her and enjoy the pleasure of night fall. My first priority is sex now. No, I'm not kidding and it's very dificult to talk about this. I'm not a sex-maniac but I've not got any satisfaction in my sex life with wife. As because, she is not very co-operative and supportive about sex and romance. I know marriage is not afterall sex, but also a bond of mutual understanding, trust, respect, compassion and love. But, only sex can give me the power to do the impossible, which I never got. I 've tried to discuss with my wife amicably many times but failured always. she is not compromising about sex and romance. I don't know, I've to suffer upto what extent ? It really very painful to me.